Do you believe in karma? I would guess that most people do believe in karma or some ideology like pay-it-forward. Personally, I do not believe in either theories. Instead, I believe doing good is what happens when I see an opportunity to bless someone out of love and make it happen.
Think about it- what are our true intentions of helping someone or doing good if we expect something like "peace at heart" or "good luck" in return? It doesn't matter how subtle or subconscious our expectations are, when we act out of an alternative motive, we lose our ability to give true and pure goodness to those we "pick and choose" and deem worthy of our "goodness". When we act out of love and kindness from our hearts, we do good and we bless those who happen to be in chance's way.
If you are thinking that I may feel good about myself after giving a compliment to someone and making their day is my "return" for my good deed, then you don't have the complete picture. Sure, when I make someone's day, I may get a good feeling inside like I have done something meaningful, but this feeling doesn't always manifest itself.
Take, for example, the compliment I gave my coworker a few weeks ago. I had asked for help from anyone in my general work area. One of my coworkers decided the easiest way to answer my question was simply by coming over to my cube and pointing me through what I was trying to do. As he stood behind my chair, I could smell his sweet cologne. When he was done giving me directions, I simply said, "thanks, and you smell good".
For the next five minutes, which does not sound like a long time when it actually is, all he could talk about was how my simple statement was the first compliment he has received in a very long time. He said it's always nice to be appreciated for smelling nice, which is not something he often hears anymore even though he has always worn cologne. In other words, he could not remember the last time someone complimented him for anything, especially not for the cologne he wears daily.
As he was sharing his heartfelt thoughts on compliments, I tried to understand how much my simple statement meant to him. Seriously, that was probably the most simple observation anyone could make, yet it meant so much to him. But for me, I did not feel especially good about "making his day," because I didn't feel like I meant to do it or tried to do it for any purpose. I made his day by chance, not by motivation or expectation for anything in return, and I did not get that warm and fuzzy feeling inside after knowing I did something good that day. Don't get me wrong- I didn't feel bad either, but my point is, I did not have to feel anything in particular nor did I expect to feel anything in particular, because my statement was simply an observation that was not meant to illicit any emotions.
What's more, I did get to understand how my coworker felt by a simple statement that sounded like a compliment just last week. I was washing my dishes in the kitchen at work when my supervisor came up and waited to use the sink. We started talking and he casually stated that he admires my gentle yet vivid voice. I was completely taken aback by his statement, because I have always thought of my voice as soft and mousy. Yet, he told me I had a rare voice that simply brings peace to the listener without even trying.
His words built my confidence and became a blessing to me. I felt like someone finally noticed a hidden gift that even I didn't know I had. But I noticed he was surprised by my reaction. My supervisor probably assumed I had heard this statement before such that it would not be a compliment to me, yet it was a compliment. Would I consider this compliment karma? Well, I took it as a compliment- but it wasn't meant to be one.
Nevertheless, my coworker and I have both experienced true blessings this past month. Neither of us expected the compliments, and neither my supervisor nor I believed what we said were compliments. So if all it takes to make someone's day is just to be honest, then we should reconsider giving "compliments." We should think about how we can be honest to the people around us and maybe by chance we will lift them up and bless them with the love we have.
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